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Showing posts from May 9, 2018

Living a Double Life: How Childhood Trauma Fragmented My Identity

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At around the age of 14, I began to draw a man’s face. The man had broad features, shaggy dark hair and a fierce glower. I didn’t know where he came from. Before long, I was compulsively drawing this man in the margins of sketchbooks and puzzlers. When I was bored or when life seemed to hold little meaning, I would draw him. I disliked and feared him yet I sensed he needed something from me. As no one of that description lived with us, I assumed he was a fictional character. Aidan who was never a childhood familiar The Drawings That Haunted My Adolescence Before long, something psychologically dangerous happened.   I imagined living his life and I put myself in his shoes. I injected part of myself behind his face. As a result, my feelings for this man grew conflicting. My dislike for him remained but now I felt guilty and responsible for him. I even cared about him. This is because I had placed my humanity behind the face of a man who was in fact callous. The resultant concocti...

Intro

Welcome — I’m Madeleine Watson, a memoirist, artist and diarist. For more than forty years I’ve lived a lie. I have documented my journey to the dark truth about my toddlerhood through writing, artwork and research. This blog brings together everything I've discovered at the age of 51 — a discovery that reshaped everything I believed about myself.

My work spans childhood trauma, identity, memory, twinhood and the ways early experiences echo through adult life. Here you’ll find memoirs, diary excerpts, artwork, family‑history, research and reflections drawn from decades of personal documentation.

If you’re new, the best place to begin is the Start Here page, which introduces the prologue and the 10‑part series that leads to the moment I learned the truth about my past. You can also visit About Me to learn more about my background and the purpose behind this project.

Thank you for reading.