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Showing posts from May 29, 2018

How Childhood Triggers Sparked My Doll‑Playing Episodes (1978–1981)

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This article gives an overview of the doll pantomimes I created between 1978 and 1981. While a previous article explores one episode of my odd doll playing , this one looks at the broader pattern and the triggers I later uncovered through my diaries. Overview of my Strange Doll Pantomimes (1978–1981) Between the 1978 and 1981, I used to make up doll pantomimes. The stories behind them were odd due to the role I gave the star, a large doll with blonde hair. She did nothing but lay inert as the other toys took active parts with bipolar behaviour. I didn’t understand why she would lie like that, but almost four decades later, I would come to learn that trauma marked my toddlerhood by a half‑uncle who lived with us in 1968. I was three. Unconscious doll in my pantos Early 1978: The First Triggers Waxworks, first aid dummies and other such effigies would leave me depressed and unnerved for no apparent reason. I now know I had dissociated the abused toddler within me onto other objects, ...

Intro

Welcome — I’m Madeleine Watson, a memoirist, artist and diarist. For more than forty years I’ve lived a lie. I have documented my journey to the dark truth about my toddlerhood through writing, artwork and research. This blog brings together everything I've discovered at the age of 51 — a discovery that reshaped everything I believed about myself.

My work spans childhood trauma, identity, memory, twinhood and the ways early experiences echo through adult life. Here you’ll find memoirs, diary excerpts, artwork, family‑history, research and reflections drawn from decades of personal documentation.

If you’re new, the best place to begin is the Start Here page, which introduces the prologue and the 10‑part series that leads to the moment I learned the truth about my past. You can also visit About Me to learn more about my background and the purpose behind this project.

Thank you for reading.