Themes in My Work

This blog is written about someone who’s innocence was torn apart in toddlerhood. I am an identical twin living in the UK, and in 2016 I discovered the truth about my lost virginity.

For nearly fifty years I lived in oblivion.

In the meantime, I kept diaries, wrote stories, novels, and created artwork — all without realising a strange man had lived in my toddlerhood home throughout 1968.

This blog shows how my early experiences have shaped my life, my behaviour, my creativity, and identity.

Drawing of a write with four heads. Madeleine Watson
The image shows me during one of my writing episodes. My creations are fuelled by intrusive thoughts.

The Themes of My Work


This page brings together the themes of this blog via raw material created during my years of oblivion. All have led me to research toddlerhood trauma.

The themes are

My diaries. I kept a diary throughout childhood, and the trauma shows through my entries via my handwriting, depression and intrusive thoughts.

My obsessive writing. I wrote haunting children’s stories from an early age which transmuted to black thrillers. Toddlerhood trauma fuelled them.

My artwork. Hidden symbols skulk in my paintings and drawings, such as broken dolls, buried faces and sinister symbols. I went to art school for five years.

My twinhood. I am an identical twin. Her name is Eve. She was born a few minutes after me. But I also have an inner twin. She is my split self and knows about my toddlerhood.

My split identity. Part of me believes in my childhood virginity, whilst another part knows the truth. I have a split self who drives my creations.

Childhood trauma. I suffer intrusive thoughts, physical symptoms and inexplicable grief. My unrealised complex PTSD is why.

Lost innocence. I lost my childhood at a tender age. The result would be a fear of male attention and sabotage to relationships.

Readers may navigate my articles via these themes. Find full-length posts where I write openly about my life experience and the uncomfortable truth I continue to uncover.

What is it like to carry a brutalised toddler within the adult self? This blog provides the answer.

Explore the main threads of my research via links that lead to a curated archive page where you can browse articles within this blog.

Chief Articles on this Blog

You can explore more of this memoir blog through the Start Here page, why I wrote this blog, or the full list of articles. You’ll also find posts about my writing, artwork, childhood trauma, diaries, split identity, twinhood and innocence lost, along with the complete Book Catalogue or you can buy my books from Amazon

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