What Happens if a Toddler’s Trauma Is Buried Beyond Conscious Memory
What would be the life experience of an adult whose toddlerhood had been torn apart before the dawning of her conscious awareness?
No physical marks.
No clues.
No memories of the abuse.
And no knowledge of the abuser.
The child grows up oblivious to the abuser’s existence and believes she knows everything about her past. All she has are recurring psychological experiences that she believes are ‘normal’ for she has known no different.
Read the full story in my published memoirs.
My artwork from Nightmare Cats (1984), created during my time at art college. I was 19.
I can answer this question for I have lived through toddlerhood trauma.
Read the full story in my published memoirs.
The Diaries I Kept Without Knowing the Truth
Between 1977 and 1988, I kept a diary — unaware of what had happened to me as a toddler. What could such a diary possibly reveal? The answer shocked me.
Beneath the surface of ordinary teenage life were sinister messages I couldn’t see — patterns, symbols, and emotional fractures that only made sense decades later.
My artwork from Nightmare Cats (1984), created during my time at art college. I was 19.
The Secret Diaries of an Identical Twin
My diaries describe my final years at school, my years at college, university and marriage. Being the carrier of horrors within my subconscious, I was forever diverting myself in order to run away from something without a name. I took part in countless creative projects including fiction writing, painting and others. It was my creative outpourings that eventually got the message through and caused me to examine my diaries. They cover:
My senior years at school
Art college
University
And my early marriage
Why I Created This Blog
The aim of this blog is to share with you how I came to uncover the truth about my toddlerhood and what my diaries have revealed.
Due to the nature of this blog, I have changed names in order to protect identities and I am writing under a pseudonym.
If you’re new here, the best place to begin is with the articles below.
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